Escape to Paradise: Stunning Golf View Garden Apartment in La Quinta, Benahavis!
Escape to Paradise: My Honestly Messy Take on the La Quinta Golf View Apartment
Okay, so, "Escape to Paradise" is what they call it, right? The "Stunning Golf View Garden Apartment" in La Quinta, Benahavis. Sounds dreamy, doesn't it? Let me tell you, after battling the Alicante airport (why is it always a scrum?), dodging rental car fees that make your eyes water, and finally finding the darn place, "dreamy" is a word I'd use cautiously. But hey, it's an escape, and that's a start. buckle up, because this review is gonna be about as polished as my first attempt at a scrambled egg.
The Good Stuff - And Let's Be Honest, There's a Lot!
First off, the view. The marketing guys aren't lying. That golf course sprawled out before you? Spectacular. I'm not a golfer (more of a "sit-on-the-sofa-and-eat-pizzas-while-watching-golf" kinda guy), but even I could appreciate the manicured greenery and the way the sun hit the fairways. It's genuinely calming. You could practically feel your blood pressure dropping (though I'm sure the pre-holiday stress hadn't fully worn off just yet).
Accessibility & Safety: Because, You Know, Real Life
Right, let's get the practical stuff out of the way. They mention accessibility, which is fantastic. The elevator was a godsend after lugging my suitcase that felt like it was filled with lead. There are facilities for disabled guests, which is reassuring. Safety? Well, the 24-hour security and CCTV cameras everywhere made me feel pretty safe, even when I accidentally left the patio door unlocked (don't judge!). They definitely take things seriously, which is more than you can say for my packing skills. And the rooms? Soundproofed! Bless the heavens! I slept like a baby, no matter how many loud golfers started their rounds at dawn. (I'm guessing the golf course is a thing.)
Food Glorious Food (and the Imperfections!)
Okay, now we're talking. Dining, drinking, and snacking. My area of expertise!
- The Restaurants/Lounge: There are restaurants and a poolside bar. Here comes a mini-rant/anecdote: I wanted a simple cocktail and they had a happy hour, but the bartender took forever to serve me since he was busy dealing with a demanding group wanting to order fancy cocktails and have them instantly. You can get the idea that the bar had a problem with providing cocktails on demand.
- Breakfast: The breakfast buffet was a solid offering - both Western and Asian options, though the "Asian breakfast" was basically a mystery meat situation. I ended up sticking with the eggs, bacon, and the amazing coffee. There's also room service! Perfect for those mornings when you just can't face interacting with anyone before your caffeine fix.
- Cleanliness & Hygiene: Speaking of which…this is where they really shine. They have a hygiene certificate, hand sanitizer everywhere, and the staff are relentless with the cleaning. My room was immaculate. They even had anti-viral cleaning products. I felt like I could lick the walls (which, of course, I didn't. Mostly).
Things to Do / Ways to Relax (Or Try To!)
Yeah, this is where it gets interesting. I tried to relax.
- The Spa: The spa! Oh, the spa! They have a sauna, steam room, and a pool with a view (fancy, right?). I went for a massage. Here's where things get messy: My masseuse, bless her heart, seemed to have only just learned the word "massage." It was more of a…gentle touching. I had to ask her, "Are you sure you're giving me a massage?" But hey, at least I was horizontal, away from the chaos, and the pool afterwards was divine.
- Fitness Center: A fitness center is also on the menu. I didn't get around to it. Let's be honest, I was there to escape, not run miles on a treadmill.
- The Pool: The outdoor swimming pool? Stunning. Chilling out by the pool was my go-to relaxation strategy.
The Rooms - Okay But Not All the Way Perfect.
The apartment itself was perfectly serviceable (in a good way). Clean, comfortable, with all the usual stuff.
- The Bed: Extra long bed: I'm tall, and this made me happy.
- The Bathroom: Separate shower/bathtub, well-stocked with toiletries.
- The View (Again!): Waking up to that golf course every morning was a real treat.
The Extras (Because Who Doesn't Love Extras?)
Here is where the hotel also excelled. Excellent amenities.
- Wi-Fi was free and readily available, even better if you are able to do some remote work.
- The staff was super friendly and helpful. They were also super organized and quick.
- Air conditioning - A must, in this climate.
- Convenience Store that came in handy when I ran out of snacks, which was often.
The Downsides (Because Life Isn't Perfect)
- The Noise: Even with the soundproof rooms, the golf course early morning activities were still a bit audible.
- The Location: While the view is amazing, you're a little bit out of the center of things. Expect to drive or taxi to get to the restaurants and bars (which, admittedly, has its own charm on a vacation).
Overall - Would I Recommend It?
Yes, absolutely. "Escape to Paradise" has its quirks (like the massage!), but the positives far outweigh the negatives. The views, the cleanliness, the overall relaxed vibe, and the attentive staff make it a solid choice. Just lower your expectations for a "perfect" getaway, and embrace the imperfections. It's those little quirks that make a trip memorable, right? And, let's be honest, it provided an escape from my day-to-day life – and that's what truly matters. I’d go back. Maybe next time I’ll bring my own masseuse… or at least, a strong back scratcher.
Unbelievable Volgograd Gem! Cozy Flat Near Mamayev Kurgan!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because here's a travel itinerary for a stay in a Garden Apartment Golf View in La Quinta, Benahavis, Spain. Think less "polished brochure" and more "diary of a slightly unhinged tourist":
Day 1: Arrival - The Olive Oil of My Dreams (and a Near Disaster with the Luggage Trolley)
- Afternoon (ish) - Arrival and Apartment Revelation: So, flights were… well, let's just say RyanAir. Got there, survived the stampede off the plane, and blessedly, the rental car was there. Key takeaway: Spanish roundabouts are a whole other level of chaos. Seriously, if you're not assertive, you'll be circling until the sun sets. Eventually find the apartment, and…wow. The garden, the view, the… golf course. I mean, I don't like golf, but from up here it's pretty. Unpack, and immediately declare a war against all the things.
- Evening - The Olive Oil Incident… and Dinner that Wasn't: Grocery shop! Which is a monumental task when you don't speak fluent Spanish and the supermarket looks like a labyrinth. I end up buying, like, nine different types of olive oil. Each one, I swear, promises eternal happiness. And then the luggage cart decided to topple over, sending a carton of eggs directly into the face of an unsuspecting woman. I apologized profusely. She just laughed, gave me a hug and told me to go ahead.
- Dinner: Made a valiant effort at a pasta dish, but somehow managed to burn the garlic. The entire apartment now smells faintly of burnt garlic and disappointment. Order pizza. It was glorious.
Day 2: Beach Day, Sunstroke, and the Mystery of the Missing Sunscreen
- Morning - Beach Bliss (and Burn!): Determined to get to the beach! Marbella here we come. The drive is gorgeous and the beach is amazing, like a postcard. Spent way too long perfecting my "relaxed on the beach" pose, totally forgot about the sun. I'm not even sure I brought any sunscreen. I'm now a lobster.
- Afternoon - Post-Sunburn Agony: Crawled back to the apartment, feeling like a cooked tomato. Spent the afternoon applying copious amounts of aloe vera and questioning all my life’s choices. Took a nap, only to wake up feeling even more pathetic.
- Late Afternoon - The Search for Sunscreen (and Sanity): Back to the shops. The sheer variety of sunscreen almost broke me. I ended up buying one just because the bottle had a picture of a happy dolphin on it.
- Evening - The "I'll Never Eat Again" Phase: Ate a very light dinner.
Day 3: Exploring the Local Culture (and Getting Utterly Lost)
- Morning - Exploring Benahavís: Decided to actually explore Benahavís, the "village of the restaurants." It's charming, all narrow streets and whitewashed buildings. Found a tiny artisan shop selling pottery. I bought a plate which I'll inevitably break back home.
- Lunch - Tapas Temptation (and a Language Barrier): Stopped at a tapas bar. The food was AMAZING. I pointed at things on the menu and hoped for the best. Surprisingly, it all worked out. The guy behind the bar was super patient with my terrible Spanish.
- Afternoon - The Great Hike (and the Curse of the Off-Road): Decided to take a hike. Found a trail, thought, "How hard can it be?" Turns out, very. The trail was steeper than I anticipated, and I had no idea how far I was going. Got lost (briefly). Then I realized, I am lost. Also, the sun. I could not find a way out. I am not sure what to do. Then I saw a sign. I was going the wrong way. So I went back, and after hours, I finally found the apartment. Almost fell in the pool.
- Evening - Dinner in a Cave (Sort Of): The restaurant experience, what a feast! A beautiful setting, full course meal, and the conversation! Then off-road!
Day 4: Golfing Adventures (or, My Attempt to Swing a Club)
- Morning - Golf Course (the Place!): OK, so I don't really play golf. But the view from the apartment overlooking the course is so tempting. I thought, "How hard can it be?" I rented some clubs. I went.
- Lunch: I took a break and get something to eat.
- Afternoon - The (Comical) Swing of Things: Tried. I really, really tried. I made a few attempts to swing the club. I spent more time retrieving the balls from the rough, and hitting myself on the head with the club, than actually playing. The only thing I managed to hit was a water hazard. The laughter was great, and the golf course attendant ended up giving me a few tips! So, the goal was to have fun, and I did!
- Evening - So Much Food: I am exhausted!!!
Day 5: Departure - The Olive Oil Returns (Maybe)
- Morning - Packing Panic: Trying to fit everything (including the now-half-empty bottles of olive oil) back into my suitcase. It's a Tetris game of epic proportions.
- Afternoon - Airport Antics: More RyanAir. More queues. Managed to get through security without any major meltdowns (which is a win).
- Evening - Homeward Bound (and Olive Oil Dreams): On the plane, already dreaming of the next Spanish adventure. And that glorious olive oil. I had a wonderful time, and will return again!
So, what *is* this all about, anyway? Like, the *gist*?
Okay, look, I'm not even sure *I* know the gist, but I'll try. Think of it like this: We're gonna explore the bits and bobs of... *things*. The stuff that fills our lives, the things we experience, the routines we fall into. The totally mundane and the utterly bizarre. The stuff that makes us tick, and the stuff that totally pisses us off. It might be about a specific event, maybe about just *living*. It’s a gamble, honestly.
Why are you doing this? Is this some kind of… therapy?
Therapy? God, I hope not! I got enough baggage, thanks. Honestly? I'm just... talking. Trying to figure things out, maybe. And if someone's interested enough to listen... or read, I guess... then all the better. It's a way to process all the noise, all the thoughts that just… *buzz* in my head. And hey, maybe someone out there will relate, and then we're not alone in the crazy, right?
Will there be a lot of... *details*? Like, boring technical ones?
Oh, hell no. I'm allergic to technical jargon. Unless a really obscure detail totally grabs me and I have to talk about it, then, yeah, maybe. I'm more interested in the *feeling* of things. The emotional rollercoaster. The way it makes you *feel* - the sheer joy or the crushing despair of it all. The tiny, beautiful things, the little annoyances that grow into giant, world-ending frustrations. That’s what matters. Details? Those are just the fuel.
So, what kind of stuff *specifically* are we talking about? Don't give me that "anything goes" crap.
Alright, alright, pushy! Okay, fine. Let's take one example, and then I'll give the disclaimer: Let's say... trying to learn to play the ukulele. I went through that phase, right? Thought it would be so easy, so charming. Cue the epic fail. I spent weeks battling the tiny little strings, my fingers cramping up like I was wrestling a tiny octopus. The callouses, the frustration, the god-awful sound of me mangling "Riptide" for the millionth time. *That* level of detail? Consider it a given. But then, what about the *emotion*? The joy I felt when I actually managed to strum a chord without sounding like a dying cat? The rage when a string snapped *right before* a big performance (which, of course, never happened)? Then. that crushing feeling of utter inadequacy, of thinking "I am a musical failure!" *That's* what's going to be relevant, you know? And that goes for pretty much anything. I'm not promising any specific topics. I'm a whimsical being, after all. Expect the unexpected. Expect mess. Expect it'll feel like we're just chatting, because that's the plan.
Are you going to be… honest? Because a lot of people aren't.
Oh, *honey*, honesty is my middle name (it's not, actually, but you get the point). I'm going to try, anyway. I mean, I'm not going to deliberately lie just to be 'cool'. I can't promise I won't embellish a little bit here and there, because, c'mon, a little drama makes life more fun. But the core of it? Yeah, I'll be honest. Even when it's embarrassing. Especially when it's embarrassing. For instance: Okay, I hate grocery shopping. Loathe it. The bright lights, the Muzak, the endless choices… I'm easily overwhelmed. One time, I was so flustered, I grabbed a bag of what I *thought* were mini-bagels. Got home, excited for a bagel-y breakfast. Opened the bag. It was… dog biscuits. *Dog* biscuits. I stared at them, mouth agape, for a good five minutes. The shame! The absurdity! And the sheer exhaustion of having to go back to the grocery store! I'm not gonna lie; I might have shed a tear. That, my friends, is the level of brutal honesty you can expect. Though I might replace the dog biscuits with something slightly more… personal.
Will you be, like, super positive all the time? Because, honestly, that's exhausting.
Absolutely not! Positive? Please. My default setting is "mildly cynical with a dash of existential dread." I'm not saying I'll be *constantly* miserable. I can be surprisingly upbeat when I’m not actively battling my inner demons. But I won't sugarcoat things. Life's messy, and sometimes it sucks. It’s important to recognize that, right? I'll share the good, the bad, and the downright ugly. Mostly the ugly.
What if I disagree with something you say?
Disagree? Excellent! That's the whole point! I don't have all the answers, and let's be honest, I probably don't have *any* of the answers. I'm just sharing my perspective. If you disagree, great! Think about it, debate it in your head, yell at your computer screen, whatever floats your boat. I enjoy a good debate! (Though I will be judging your arguments secretly). The world could always use more thinking and arguing, or, you know, even just some critical thinking.
So… what’s the point? Beyond the ramblings and the ukulele horror stories?
Okay, real talk? There might *not* be a point. Maybe it's just about connecting with other people (or *a* person), sharing some laughs, and just… existing in the chaos of it all. Maybe it's for me. Maybe for you. Or maybe we'll just collectively decide we're wasting our time. Either way, I'm fine with it. I'll be here, rambling and trying to make sense of things. And if you're along for the ride, well, grab your metaphorical snacks and buckle up. It's gonna be a bumpy one!
